*Beep* *Beep* : Censoring the senses

“Oh boy, look at that a**!”, drooled Howard Wolowitz, as he stared down the backside of a girl strutting along. The audience splits apart seconds later as, Howard lifts up his gaze, only to find Bernadette staring at him, nostrils ablaze.
Two men walked into a bar. Go f*** yourself” muttered Hugh Jackman, a.k.a Wolverine, under his breath, without so much as raising an eye to the 2 gentlemen, Magneto & Xavier, standing behind him.
Surprised you could actually make out what expletives the two respective characters uttered, in the scenes of The Big Bang Theory & X-Men : Origins, respectively? You think you are the only “corrupt” soul that understands cuss words, as when they are *beep*ed? Chances are, you are just one amongst millions, actually, that have a complete idea of what crass words are blurted out at which point, and what “feelings” they intend to portray. Nonetheless, isn’t it the moral obligation of the Maniacs Obsessed with Righteous & Ostensibly Neurotic Speech (or MORONS, as they are), to go around clipping any clips they think would have an “adverse” effect on the “pure” fibre of our society? I say, BALLS! (And before your mind screeches off into lands hitherto in more than one direction, BALLS is an acronym for Be Abreast, Linguistically Lousy Stooges! )
However, the key to a mature & morally well-developed society lies in the hands of the youth, who should be well-aware of what to talk when, where and with whom. An ideal conversation, thus, based on the above scenario, should be totally bereft of obnoxious language, at all costs. Which would better be explained something like this –

Young “peep” 1 : Hey *beep*, wassup! Long time no see! Where have you been *beep*ing your *beep* off, man??

Young “peep” 2 : Hey no, what the *beep*. Just had a hard time breaking up with that *beep* dude! She used me for ma monies and left me stranded! That mother*beep* *beep* *beep*!!

Television too, should emphasise on broadcasting only family-oriented programmes, that teach the society absolutely important ideals, relating to inter-personal relations. Of a daughter-in-law & her scornfully delightful Woman Hitler, a.k.a Mother-in-law (actually, these are anagrams!). However, at no point whatsoever, should people aged 0-17.999, ever come to know about Moby *beep*, or that female dogs are called *beep* & donkeys *beep*. It should also well be noted by morally-PhDed people, that cats are called cats, and never *beep*. Another important fact to be remembered is, that the pen (DO NOT FORGET TO INSERT SPACE) is mightier than the sword.
Studies conducted by psychologists, doctors, engineers, accountants, teachers, children’s rights activists, women’s rights activists, human rights activists, animal rights activists, politicians, Sadhu-baba jholas (not necessarily in descending order of their profanity-immune propensities) have all indicated, that constant exposure to socially in-appropriate lingo, over a prolonged period of time, can render the human senses obsolete. A mind opened up to the big, bad world of profanity, can hamper the development of the individual, inducing criminal tendencies. According to data published by popular left-wing analysts, rape cases have shot up every time the word “sex” was left uncensored. Aggression, angst, & psychological instability have been known to catapult every time the adrenaline-filled Eminem has let off supersonic swear-syllabled no-holds-barred volleys!
Hence, it is absolutely imperative, for the all-round development of the society, that foul words be rebuked & face censorship of the highest order. After all, this is the 21st century, only 300 years ahead of the medieval times. The youth of today is too immature to understand the catastrophic effects of this plague. One mustn’t forget that ignorance is bliss. The only way to ward off the social “evils” is to to keep generation after generation ignorant of its existence. One ought to think practically, and realize that constitutionalism, with all the freedom of speech it bestows upon the citizens, is just a myth. And at the end of the day, your choices & preferences of entertainment hold no value against the discretion of a third person, who supposedly knows what you need to watch, better than yourself.
Indeed, censorship…. What the *beep*!


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